meltdown, and a sonnet.

Good Friday Afternoon. it is soooo lovely outside! and WINDY! sigh, who wants to bet i will Not ride my bike yet again today? there were thoughts of it...i think the wind is blowing them out of my head. :( guilt, guilt. i had a meltdown at work today. i think it's that time of month, and i hadn't really eaten much (but yes on the coffee-drinking). and there was SO much to do and so many WAFFLES! there were a lot of choice cuss words directed at waffles running through my head today, and no, it's not fair, i'm not proud...here is how i dealt with anger: 1) silent treatment 2) making angry faces 3) breaking a plastic pitcher by throwing it on the ground 4) throwing egg shells into the trash, violently (at least that was productive...?) 5) stomping down boxes (loudly) in the parking lot 6) hitting concrete with the side of my fist 7) getting away from it all by sitting in the sun and working myself up to tears for several minutes. and of course random fist-shakings. so...now i've been all kinds of mean to people, and probably bruised my hand as well. anyway...
picture 1: izzy making crazy eyes and loving on some flowers
picture 2: self-portrait
picture 3: weather-related felties!
picture 4: my cake project! have been taking a cake decorating class this month (4 classes, 2 hrs each) at michaels--it was really fun, and the 2 hrs passed by quickly! learned alot, but haven't perfected anything (or anywhere close).it was a pretty ridiculous cake.

here's yesterday's attempt at a sonnet that is about dealing with guilt (or at least, feeling guilt):

The plastic bag that scuttles down the street
Tap-taps the tune of guilty conscience (mine)--
Of deeds to do, and souls that I should meet,
But don't--for fear, for pride, for misspent time...
It catches on a pile of debris,
Hangs, pummeled by the breeze--pathetic, beat--
As I debate responsibility:
What has my neighbor's trash to do with me?

And none of this would be a second's thought
If not for all the other guilty stings--
My life is filling, full, of "I forgots..."
And failed "shoulds" and secret, wicked things.
But falling short, I am forgiven, too--
In final sense, have nothing more to do.

And, why not, a haiku:

Seedling breaking ground
A story never stale
Simple, still, profound.

Musings by a Sleepy Baker

This really only means I should be going to bed now instead of writing doggerel :)

Cover me with flour!
Dust me all in white--
They'll think I am a ghost
But I only look a fright!
I'm a baker in the morning!
A baker through the night...
I think I'd better sleep now...
I think that would be right.

My goodness! I am tired!
And yet I'll never sleep--
The sugar keeps me wide-awake,
As through my pores it seeps.
I've nearly reached my pillow,
It's inches from my head--
I hope I do not dream (again)
Of murd'rous loaves of bread.
I need my Bambi nightlight--or
A gun, for goodness' sake!
I know I'll dream I'm being chased
By a hungry piece of cake!
You don't know what it's like.
I hope you never do.
A baker's life is sweet, of course,
But it will burn you, too.

loves my izzy!

...and my new adorable book shirt from christi! yay thank you! :)

Happy Easter!

Happy day before Easter! So...today, work was exciting. Because a HUGE group of mothers came (in the midst of our farmer's market crowd), to protest some alleged breast-feeding hate on the part of yours truly's coffeeshop. so we made them gingerbread ladies :) (cheri's idea. i cut the cookie dough. another baker decorated them because she is artistic :) they're totally scandalous.
the second picture is of this awesome shirt that D mailed me today! THANK YOU! :)
then some more pictures, food-themed...
Here is a random poem! have a wonderful easter!

A dollar for the debonair,
A thimble for my thumb,
A ribbon for a young girl's hair,
A word that goes and comes.
A twinkle for a blind blue eye,
New raindrops for the seed,
And that for which I never ask
But often am in need.

Moira Mushroom and her Unrequited Love

hello! what a great day for a nap! please? yes?
so, i was trying to multitask by listening to This American Life and writing a poem at the same time...which is silly, because i know i can't write while something listen-able is going on in the background. but...turning it off would've required movement, and i was comfortable, and...anyway, the poem suffered from my laziness i'm afraid. :) it's a totally depressing poem about a mushroom's unrequited love for a tree who doesn't even know she exists. poor girl.

Moira Mushroom had a crush
On Selwyn Sycamore.
"So tall and regal!" Moira gushed,
And loved him all the more.
"But will he ever notice me?
I barely reach his toes!"
She grabbed a handy, fallen leaf
And blew her sniffy nose.
She brightened up her spotted cap
And prayed that he'd look down,
But seasons came, and seasons went,
His leaves turned green and brown,
As Selwyn slowly grew and grew--
But Moira's height stayed fast,
Until she sighed, and shriveled up,
And found her peace at least.

new project! and something about vampires.

Here are some photos of my latest 'project'--magnets! basically i am drawing/coloring pictures, then going to cut them out, laminate, and stick magnets on the back. so easy! but incredibly fun :) a lot of them incorporate terrible puns, as you can see in the sample above. sigh...of course, my picture-loader was unable to figure out which way was north.

i dreamed about vampires last night...that i was being shown around a prison by a prison warden who was going on vacation, and i was supposed to substitute for him. but the doors to the cells were wooden, without windows,and there was a long long narrow staircase going down, with the doors getting narrower and i didn't know who or what was behind them. in my dream i saw that the warden got killed by a vampire-prisoner, who then escaped...but i don't think the self that was supposed to guard the prison knew that. that self had already gotten separated from the warden and found her way out of the building into the sunlight. for the time being.
but it was also kind of a movie in which i knew the outcome, and that Feist was playing the part of some vampire-prisoner who had a really good sense of smell and was hunting the other, mortal prisoners. what??
then i woke up replaying 'silence of the lambs' in my mind, which was the first time i'd thought about that movie since watching it (thank goodness!) and decided i'd better get out of bed and start the day before i scared myself silly!

Crazy.

The Forgetful Baker

Die Watchful Katzen! (that's pronounced "dee" not "die", and means "the" not..."die"...don't worry!)
Cake Decorating Class numero cuatro tonight! learning daffodils and other sundry flowers, yay! other items on today's agenda include: listening to today's New Testament reading, P90x, shower...eat...crafting of some sort :) listening to the sweet li'l birdies outside! promising! hope you all have a great day! today's poem needs no explanation i think...except that it's not autobiographical...thank goodness, although i don't usually wear an apron. oh, and update on the publishing...i still need to make myself go to the library and print things. sigh.



I didn't wear my apron, so
I'm fairly drenched in flour;
Nor did I wear my timepiece, so
I cannot tell the hour.
I didn't read the recipe,
Or measure anything
(Or cash my measly paycheck; now
I'm poorer than the King.)
I didn't turn the oven on,
Which may be just as well--
I prob'ly wouldn't turn it off,
But only smoke can tell..
My cake has fallen, I'm far more
Than fashionably late.
No thank you, turncoat mem'ry, for
Manipulating fate.