[Inhuman] Death in the Family

After sewing the worlds ugliest eyesore of a dress...

...my poor sewing machine needle just couldn't take it any more. : (

Other observations:

1) Don't worry, I was never intending to wear this dress, heavens no! Just seeing if I could figure out a "simple" dress pattern using some cheap-o estate sale fabric.

2) The dress pattern (vintage) is a size 16. For some reason, reading the measurements on the sizing chart, I thought this would fit--and despaired over "flattery size" inflation. But never fear! Our decades be not so disparate. This dress is too large.

3) It's been a weird week, and I'm ready for things to settle down already. Sigh...

The Great American Spider Hunt

Possibly first-ever feltie commission! Somebaby needed a monkey!

Go far, far away, my creepy friends...

This week has been full of ups and downs. Can't say anything about the ups, because they mostly involve potential opportunities that may or may not come to fruition, but have been pleasant to think about either way. Downs involve Daniel's cut finger and possible (hopefully not!!!!) brown recluse bite. So this afternoon, my task is to wash our bed clothes, sweep under the bed and chant anti-spider curses. Blegh.

In other news, here are some of the issues I've been facing today. How would you respond?

1) If I walk 1.5 miles to Quik Trip for a pint of ice cream, how much can I eat before negating the good effects of the walk?

2) What if I've already had dessert today?

3) What if I also already rode my bike to work?

4) Is it better to save money (by baking something at home) or to gain exercise?

Do you know what sounds (almost) better than ice cream? A nap. Too bad the sheets are in the laundry being de-spidered. Ah, well.

Happy Saturday, y'all.

Love Song

So...I know this is controversial, and normally I shun unpleasant internet "debate" but...pretty sure I have the handsomest husband. ;)

Thank you, Christi, for keeping me company at feltie-selling day. I wouldn't say it was a successful day as far as making money goes, but it was fun getting to meet some very creative and nice people!

If anyone wants to buy me this shirt, I promise to love it and wear it forever and when it is dead and full of holes I will turn the picture into a quilt:

http://shirt.woot.com/offers/wizard-of-aws

And here is an encouraging passage from the end of Madeleine L'Engle's book Walking on Water:

   "Great art. Great artists. What about all the rest of us little people, struggling with our typewriters and tubes of paint?
   The great ones are still the best mirrors for us all, because the degree of the gift isn't what it's all about. It's like the presents under the Christmas tree: the ones which came from Woolworth's may be just as rejoiced over as the more expensive ones, and best of all are those which are handmade and which may have cost love, rather than money. Perhaps it's something like the parable of the workers in the vineyard; maybe those who worked through the heat of the day were the Michelangelos and Leonardos and Beethovens and Tolstoys. Those who were able to work only one hour served their gift of work as best they could. And, as in Alice in Wonderland, everybody gets prizes; there is the same quality of joy in turning a perfect bowl on the potter's wheel as in painting the Sistine Chapel.
   The important thing is to recognize that our gift, no matter what the size, is indeed something given us, for which we can take no credit, but which we may humbly serve, and, in serving, learn more wholeness, be offered wondrous newness.
   Picasso says that an artist paints not to ask a question, but because he has found something, and he wants to share--he cannot help it--what he has found."

Speaking of little artists...if anyone wants to read the complete Everyday Day at the Zoo and offer suggestions, let me know and I'll email it to you (only about 8 pages or so, very fast reading).

Finally, a song (once again, with credit due to Madeleine L'Engle for writing about love/vulnerability):

I. What voice will win the day--
Distancing and dismay?
But even you
Will be renewed.
Take heart when love says
"Trust me again."

II. What is it you have lost?
Everything love had brought.
But lost or found,
Love can't be bound.
Just when you reach the end
You'll find love again.

[Optional Bridge:
One hand asks for another--
But what if that other
Has a past?
It's a question of courage:
Don't be discouraged,
Let past be past.]

III. Does a heart ever heal--
Regroup, re-learn to feel?
If it can choose
Between these two:
Avoiding pain or never
Knowing love again.

3:30 in the Summer...Must be Ice Cream Time!

Guess who got married last weekend?? My beautiful sister and awesome brother-in-law!

The bride and groom with two sets of grandparents! 

Photo credit today goes to my D, Aaron Bowen! Sorry I couldn't get the pictures any bigger...blogger's being a hater and they go blurry fast!

So, I am up to V in my Zoo Poetry Book! V for Veronica, a shamefully self-righteous girl. But here is the poem for T (for Tara, of course!):

Tara’s growing tired of

“You must be Tara-ble!”

What may have been amusing once

Now pains her very soul.

And so, she seeks out sympathy

From one who, she assumes,

Has sailed this same pun-filled boat

To humor’s certain doom.

“Tarantula,” she sighs, “We are

Most cruelly beset

By the most nauseating jokes

Our language can beget.”

“What jokes are these?” the spider asks,

“I’ve lived a sheltered life…”

So Tara, who would rather eat

A needle and a knife

Than help this pun perpetuate,

Must crack the cursed joke,

Expecting that the spider will

At least pretend to choke—

But, rather than look mortified,

Tarantula guffaws,

“Ha-ha! That joke’s the best I’ve heard,

Your wit deserves applause!”

And so he claps eight hairy legs

While Tara, in despair,

Runs blindly from Arachnid House

Into more wholesome air.

Jojo Was a Man Who Wished He Was a Monkey...

Behold! Le Chicken and Waffles! With pineapple salsa...yumm...

Enjoying some time at Guthrie Green with a Smoked Lamb Pita and Aranciata

If you live in Tulsa, or nearabouts, get yourself down to Guthrie Green sometime in the next few days for some Shakespeare in the Park (Much Ado About Nothing)! It is a wonderful production and watching outdoors is an added bonus, because there is much (but not too-much) un-sought audience participation (You Go, Benedick! or BOOO!!! etc.). Very relaxed atmosphere and tons of laugh-out-loud moments, hooray! And family friendly, I might add...if your child is getting fidgety, just send them over to the splash pad or let them run around a bit, no biggie!

Here are the newest Zoo poems (up to K, almost half-way!). From a psychological perspective, the first is about an exuberant, fool-hardy, yet good-hearted boy, while the second is also about a reckless--but rude and disobedient--boy. "The good end happily, and the bad unhappily. That is what fiction means." [The Importance of Being Earnest.] I think kids could learn a lot from this collection! ;)

Jojo's Trip to the Zoo

Jojo's in the jungle and
Attempting to be sly--
He's tiptoeing in camouflage,
But not because he's shy;
He aims to climb a jungle tree
And swing from vine to vine,
But if he's caught, he'll be kicked out
And forced to pay a fine.
He's made it! Jojo, vine in hand,
Abandoning his stealth,
Let's forth a wild jungle cry,
Regardless of his health.
But Jojo's in a jungle in
A building, not Brazil,
So Jojo's Tarzan transformation's
Bound to end up ill.
He hits a wall--ker-thud!-- and lands
Atop a metal cage
(Belonging to a sloth, though that's
Superfluous, I'd gauge.)
Still, Jojo's never down for long,
He's up and running soon,
Concocting plans to slingshot from
This planet to the Moon.

Konstantine's Trip to the Zoo


"Be careful, Konstantine," his mother
Warned him ere he left;
He rolled his eyes and muttered
"Blah, blah, blah," beneath his breath.
But Konstantine has far more chance
Of growing fat and old
By listening to Mum, and doing
Just as he is told.
Will Konstantine take care today,
Or risk a wayward arm
By teasing some demented beast
Who only means him harm?
The Tale of Konstantine's Demise
Gets worse before the end.
I dare not tell you any more--
Your heart may never mend.
But please, before you leave, take heed
To this last good advice:
Don't try to pet piranhas, 'cause
They really aren't that nice.

An Everyday Day at the Zoo, Part 1

New project, begun last night: a collection of 26 short poems, each one titled "[So-and-so's] Trip to the Zoo". Each "so-and-so"'s name will begin with a different letter of the alphabet--so far, I'm on H for Hubert. It's fun inventing wacky scenarios between children and zoo animals. I'll type the poems from the pictures shown down below, since my handwriting is still atrocious. (Or, if you want to be kind, artistic??)

Bertie's Trip to the Zoo

Bertie was bewildered by
A wildebeest (or gnu)
That introduced itself as Fred
And said, "How do you do?"
"I must be ailing," Bertie answered,
"Though I would have sworn
To be as hale as any age-d infant ever born."
"My sympathies," the gnu replied,
"I hope you get well MOOOOOO....."
(As final words, these may be bland,
But they will have to do,
For Bertie never heard another
Human sound from Fred,
The beast whose manners rivalled those
Of many a noble head.)

Elsinora's Trip to the Zoo

Elsinora Everbeen
Inspired Billy Bear
To dance upon his two back feet
With elegance and flair.
It's true--'twas love as fast as sight
(On Billy's side, at least)--
That's why this inner ursine
Ballerina was released.
So: Was it wit or charm that made her
Billy's deepest wish?
Oh no, it was her goggling eyes--
He thought she was a fish.

Hubert's Trip to the Zoo

"Hi, this is Hubert Hemlock...Yes,
I hear you loud and clear!"
"Ooh-ooh, ooh-ah, ooh-ooh, ooh-ee!"
Met Hubert's waiting ear.
"I'm sorry, I don't understand--
Could you repeat that, please?
I fear this new banana phone
Can't translate Chimpanzese!"

Walrus Tusks and Dance Tunes

Introducing Windsor and Winnifred Walrus!

I don't remember if I mentioned this previously, but sewing feltie animals raises alot of questions regarding animal anatomy. In this instance: Do female walruses also have tusks, and do they protrude from their mouth? If not, from where? I have a feeling poor Winnifred may be an aberration on Walrus Normality, but at least you can tell what she is...Does anyone out there have answers for these burning questions?

Here's another question: what bands can you recommend that are upbeat (and by upbeat I mean: makes you want to dance, not fall asleep like most of that indie stuff *cough cough*) yet coffee-shop appropriate? When closing, I am the one responsible for music. On slow nights (or early mornings), sometimes you just need something...groovy! But I don't want to risk a radio station that encompasses profanity.

That is all for now--coming up this weekend: The Tulsa Tough! WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! Words cannot express how excited I am for this, the Best Weekend in Tulsa!! Envision me doing a happy dance, and you'll get the idea. Anyone want to come watch with us?

My Latest Obsession

Probably the skirt I will wear to Jenny's wedding...???? Es muy danceable!

Moustache Skirt! For when I need to be "all things to all hipsters"...

So...unfortunately, as many probably know, sewing your own clothes does not save you money. Au contraire. (I don't know French.) However, it is A MILLION TIMES MORE FUN shopping for fabric than clothes, plus I love my vintage skirt pattern ($3 at Owl and Drum! $12-50 anywhere else!).

Here's my grad school compromise, suggested by my kind advisor: Take one class, see how it goes. Which I feel alot better about, because it won't cut into my work schedule except one day a week, I should still have free time for sewing, coffee cupping, reading, etc. Whew! It's a fair waste of a scholarship, but it's worth it not to feel glum all the time.

True story: Paul McCartney's bottom sat on Daniel's new mountain bike! Which I think is way more awesome than Daniel does...maybe he hasn't seen A Hard Day's Night? (Highly recommended film by the way!) Or maybe he's just not a girl and doesn't care that the Beatles used to be totes adorbs heart-throbbians all the way!! ;) Ok, enough.

Here's a poem based on recent reflections. It is probably titled "Opposites Attract." :

Precisely: You read weather patterns,
Fold your clothes just so,
Replace hyperbole with fact.
Forever accurate, if slow.

I'm fly-by-night and dancing off
Of walls towards burning light.
Each lesson learned is learned again,
And more before it's right.
My seams are crooked, half my words
Are language undermined.
I want a finished product. Here's
The process: Never mind.
And any passing fancy is
A source of agony,
For I judge between a phase
And Here Lies Destiny.
I'm called, as far as I can tell,
To living out-of-place.
Three decades late--for fashion, work,
Ambition and disgrace...

But all of that is by-the-bye
And tweedle-dee, my dear.
Our love is now! For better or
For worse, your bride is here.