approaching halloween!

Good lazy-Tuesday afternoon!
thanks to a mention (and subsequent purchase) of candy corn, reading My Paper Crane blog and seeing some of her adorable Halloween creations, and...the oh-so-imminent arrival of September(!), daniel and i are having a halloween-themed day, listening to The Nightmare Before Christmas soundtrack, a ghoul-y musician called Voltaire, crafting ghostie felties, and reading through my favorite halloween cookbook, Ghoulish Goodies by Sharon Bowers.

in other news, today was breakfast-for-lunch and homemade amaretto ice cream! there are pictures above from pottery class yesterday--look at all those amazing mug shapes daniel made, and this was only his 3rd time!! the only thing i heard him get corrected on was the fact that the "lips" of his mugs were too thin, needed to be thicker/rounder. Jeff, our teacher, was kind enough to 'bring it home' with this example: "would you kiss tara if she had razors for lips?"

and colleen at work designed and 'executed' these incredible "old-timey" gingerbread people. there were lots more, all unique. i love them!

and here is a stupid poem:

"It's just around the corner,
Though the corner isn't round.
It's square, as corners ought to be,"
Sid told me with a frown.
"Yes, sir."--no creature dares correct
Sid's cherished point-of-view--
I've seen a round edge square itself
To keep the peace--it's true!

Listening: A Little Birdhouse in Your Soul by They Might Be Giants

Happy Sunday Morning!
just a few minutes before leaving for church...
Last night, went to the new downtown bowling alley (The Dust Bowl) with christi, bobby, and daniel--had yummy drinks and delicious tater-tots (yes, that's right--they make sweet potato tots!!), and much fun bowling. i did SO MUCH BETTER than usual...i felt...and my total score for the first game was--*da-dum*--66. :( amazingly, i lost.
best part about it, it's only been open a few months, so the shoes are still purty new, and a little bit cute! :)

in other news, The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood movie is pretty weak compared to the book. i can't recommend it, excpet it has Professor McGonagall (sp??)--i.e., Maggie Smith--in it.

and...the ice cream was AMAZING! D suggests eating it with nutella on top, but we finished it off before having a chance to acquire some. next time!

and finally, here is a poem, written a couple nights ago...more leftover musings from the Divine Secrets:

Can't abide Perfection
Honeyed despot
Dripping accusation
Masking this:

The warped half-trembling
Half-again
Confused

The broken battled
Built-up-walls
Abused

The bitter simple
Sinner
Born into

A world bursting glory
Beautiful
A grace-and-pain-filled
Gift of being

Not yet home
But--maybe--close

Oh, let it go,
Dear,
Just let go.

Rah-Ya-Ya!

good evening--
i just finished reading The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood by Rebecca Wells, and...you should, too :) I first knew of it from the movie, and was never really interested...i think the title threw me off somehow...but, thanks to Christi and her a-plus reading recommendations/ well-stocked library, i have now read the book, loved it, and am planning on starting the movie here on Netflix Instant in a few minutes. woo-hoo!
anyway, here is a kind of response poem to the book:

I long to be ease-ful
I yearn to ring true
I wish to be watchful
Awake to the New
In ev'rything Present
In each tick of Time--
Forgiving the moments
We fell out of line
Forgiving the absence
Or smothering hold
Forgiving the known
And the never-yet-told
Forgiving the past-times
And letting them rest,
Releasing to Now
In all her glory and mess.

Up and Down, Back and Forth

Hello--
Earlier today, i imagined myself saying this in response to "How was your day?":
"Well, I was passive-aggressive all morning, then went home and made ice cream."

cause i was, and i did. (the ice cream is still in-process. will have to give an update tomorrow. :) fingers crossed!)

if anyone could convince me that it's okay to be mean to lazy people, that'd be great.

although i'm afraid i live like i'm convinced of that anyway, and am just mean without thinking about it. really, what i need is for someone to convince me that's NOT okay. poo. :(

a song written this afternoon. it shouldn't be finished yet, but it's probably as finished as it will ever get. it's kind of confusing, probably because i'm a confused person...it's about the dilemma between wanting to feel like an 'adult' (in the sense of having a steady job/paycheck, looking successful, etc.)--and wanting to make a living out of a conglomerate of creativity (i.e., roasting coffee, writing, drawing, pottery, singing, acting, baking, etc.).
it's not good poetry, of course, but it's a snapshot of me mind...more or less:

I. I can't go back
No I can't go back
To a dream dead long ago
Take a different track
Drink my coffee black
Make an angel in the snow
Won't someone
...Anyone?...
Help me become
A different girl
With a different goal
And a whole new paradigm--
Someone confident,
Someone satisfied,
Who expects the stars to shine?

II. I have to try
Lord, I have to try
To re-light a flame long gone
I wish you would pry
So I couldn't lie
Have to admit I can't move on
Won't someone
Anyone
Help me put away
All those childish games
All my naive ways,
Start a fresh, concrete career...
(But if all I want's
Just one steady job
I'll be lost within the year)

III. There's a different path
From the typical
But I'm scared of what I'll find
If I follow it
Live against the pull
Of luxuries left behind
Won't someone
Anyone
Please help me become...

Fog and Clarity

Good evening--
Pottery last night went SOOO much better than last week--i've got 6 mugs and 2 (still largely unattractive) bowls in the works, so...yay! and one mug is even curvy, instead of all straight-up-and-down, which is fine, too.
Currently, i am waiting for Daniel to finish working so we can go to Joe Mommas for $5 pizza night (for the first time in, like, YEARS...practically)! woo-hoo! and decided to take a break from reading The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood--which Christi owns and has recommended--for a li'l ol' blog post.
Today's poem is not about hindsight, although i drew a picture representing hindsight with which to accompany it...just because. but it is about perception and clarity.
finally, last night i dreamt that i was living in a military complex that was suddenly a bomb target, and my friends and i were hiding in a large room, one side of which was a window, just watching and listening to the explosions...and it was really terrifying. i woke up thinking about maisie dobbs and how it must have been like that for her while she was working as a nurse during WWI. only worse, of course, not being a dream. and worse than that, Maisie Dobbs of course is only fictional, but war is real and some people really do have to listen to bombs exploding all around them. :( i know so little about things.
(by the end of the dream, i was trying to mix and match faux-fiestaware at t.j. maxx, until a Kraken came and carried us all away in its tentacles.)
so, here is the poem:

Asking someone far away
For lessons in the now
Is risk and trust and hoping most
They'll understand somehow

Great distance dulls and sharpens
Is both blindness and a lens
An 'either or' a 'both' an 'and'
But which? It all depends

Work Songs! and Mouthwatering Poptarts!

Good late-afternoon, and happy 11th-month anniversary to me! and daniel! :) we celebrated by eating a homemade poptart at a new pastry place on brookside called "sweeties." yummy, flaky, buttery dough with jam filling! here is a link to a 'homemade poptarts' recipe found on smitten kitchen! i saw this awhile ago, haven't made the yet...but now i know...how delicious they can be! so...soon. anyway, here it is: http://smittenkitchen.com/2010/04/homemade-pop-tarts/
oh, and happy 'first day of school for tulsan schoolkids!'
so...big surprise, half my pictures are upside down! but they are just three little pictures that go with goofy little work songs :) didn't take alot of writing talent here, but here they are:

1. A Song for the Feeding of Cats
"I'm gonna feed the cat!
I'm gonna feed the cat!
And if you don't like that
I'll eat your hat,
I'm gonna feed the cat!"

2. A Song for the Washing of Dishes
"The dishes in the sink
The dishes in the sink
As quick as a wink
I'm gonna wash
The dishes in the sink!"

3. A Song for the Taking Out of the Garbage :)
"The trash is going out
The trash is going out
Some folks may doubt,
But I'll just shout,
The trash is going ooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttt!"

TAKE A BREAK! :)

Hallo! baking day! my favorite chocolate chip cookies and chocolate cake--preparing for company this weekend (yay!) and a going away party. plus, i wanted some cookies. :)
last two photos: izzy examining my closet. she does not approve. it's like a foot deep, i'm sorry! and then...licking her nose.
and a little fishie painting, and some upside-down fishie felties!
a poem:

Read this rapid,
Miss the point--
Of pondering...
The Pause.
To listen,
Incidental sounds,
To breathe, or just
Because.
Earth's axis is
Perfectionist--
Time, too--it's
Go! Go! Go!
But we, the weary,
Suffocate
When we refuse
To slow.
A syllable
Per second,
Then a nap
This afternoon.
Perhaps a night
Of sitting silent,
Underneath
The Moon.

An [imaginary and short] Interview with...Keith Urban!

Good afternoon!
I missed out on buying the 'bag of crap' from woot because i wasn't quick enough. i saw it, though, i pressed the "buy" button (it actually says 'i want it!')...all to no avail, alas. a mysterious, random bag of crap--or maybe not crap?--for just $3. and it is not mine. :(
then, i missed out on a really nice cuisinart ice cream maker. double :( :(
and yet it's been a good day! drove by our arena, and saw at least TEN semis lined up carrying equipment for the Keith Urban concert. did Not see keith urban, but i held an interview with him in my mind..."how has growing up in australia influenced your music to be different than american country artists--wait. did you grow up in australia? is that just nicole? shoot..." *blush*
would need to do some research first. :)
i tried to paint you all a picture, but wouldn't you know, paint needs to dry before you paint more things on top of it...like, facial features on a fish? :) i rush, i rush, mess things up, start over.
anyway, a poem! actually written yesterday, more like, it ran through my mind than i had to do much writing...

Sing a song of sustenance
Then drink your pocket dry.
Give thanks in ev'ry circumstance
Then tell ol' Fate to fry.
Live passionate, then leave your loves
In order to be free.
But if you die a bitter soul
Don't put the blame on me.

Generation...what are we?

goood afternoon. pottery tonight! more glazing!! (i hope!) and breathing deeply, trying to believe i'll get everything done that i want to today. boop boop boop.

a poem, responding to a conversation overheard recently (about how we live in such an unimpressive time in history. a point i can see, but on the other hand, why complain about it? seems like we ought to be able to move and shake things up if we choose to...not that i do, anyhow.)

Complain of passion-drained complacency,
Of how you weren't alive when jazz was young
Missed all the most momentous history,
The pulse, pursuit-of-right, the waving gun...
And all that's left is violent and vain,
Or sitting on a couch, consuming scripts
Engaging just enough to keep you sane,
But when they break--you start to lose your grip.

But can't you make the history you have,
And write the music that you want to hear?
Are you not alive, with choice-at-hand,
Your call, your role--uncomfortably clear?
A vivid life does not require war,
Just waking up, and walking out your door.

painting skillz!

learning to paint! (that is, hopefully some learning curve will be evident. right now, i paint like a 2-year-old, no offense to 2-year-olds. :)
Today, Christi and i have planned a VERONICA MARS MARATHON! hopefully we will finally reach the end and figure out WHO KILLED HER BEST FRIEND! i had dreams about it last night--that one of the characters was in my class at school, and died. it was tragic. :( and i was late for a standardized test because i wasn't paying attention. whoops! anyway, muchos hoorays for getting to sleep in on a saturday! (hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray hooray etc)
the other pictures: 1) the ugliest cookie IN DER WELT! [in the world, German] 2) feltie sweet banana 3) feltie coffee mug

here are some fun phrases strung together (not a poem, just some rhymes):

snippets of a secret conversation,
whispers of a winning combination,
hating false and heartless divination,
turning from a trial deviation,
pulling towards a pulsing gravitation,
cheering cheerless, one congratulation.

wright and rong :) ??

Rain...and more rain...and THUNDER AND LIGHTNING! woot! except when i'm driving and it's all cats-and-dogs out there. scary! a po'm:

All-too-simply
Justified,
But not in Truth,
Nor Light--
In shakiness,
In making-blind
What once knew
Wrong from Right.
A tripping, tipping
Forward, fallen,
Grasping hints
Of straw--
Preferring plunging
Endlessly
To voicing
"I was wrong."

RAIN :) :) :)

IT RAINED LAST NIGHT!

Rain breaks the spell,
The scorching
Briefly,
Breaks hard hearts
To hope,
To dancing in
The dampened streets,
To twirling in
The cooling air
And laughing,
Long and loud and light
While shouting,
"Now we'll be alright!"
The breaking through,
The overthrow,
Till scattered clouds
And soft moon-glow.

A-Maisie-ing! :)

Greetings! this is going to be short 'n' sweet, because i went to the library with christi yesterday and LOW AND BEHOLD, there, on the 'new arrivals' shelf, sat THE LATEST MAISIE DOBBS mystery! woo-hoo! (it's called "A Lesson in Secrets") so that's what's on my list of things to do today. read, read, read. (and work, but i'm over that now :) and go to Glacier chocolatier later. what a great day! chocolate and a wonderful book. nasty heat, you cannot crush my spirit!!
anyway, here is a brief poem:

Limping, lisping
Trouble-ward,
The twisting tune of
Fate--
Put simply, sickly
Circumstance
Cold-shudders
"It's too late"

But late it nearly
Never is
For whispering
A prayer.
Constricted soul,
Look heavenward-
Take up your comfort
There.

Poettery!...

Hello!
[that title, 'poettery' was a typo...but...it works!]
i'm supposed to take a nap today...hm...we'll see.
Anyway--look at those little mugs i made!!!!! i <3 pottery! it is so fun (when it's not making me want to cuss and throw clay at people because i can't do it right!) oh, right...that never happens. :)

and that...is all i have to say today. so sleepy...and semi-lethargic (thanks alot, weather), so i will just close with a poem. hope you all are doing well!

Assuming, as you do, the
Bittersweet
(Half-full is half-empty,
Always was)--
You try so hard--
But pulled-together smiles,
Half-famished oaths,
Tears stolen by the sun...
So false, and also,
Pitiful,
While all you seek is passion--

But so much
Of Beauty is corrupt,
Of Chaos--beautiful.

And all my rages also die away
When I
Look back, behold
The wrongness of it all
(My speech, my soul)--
Still, Good is somewhere, sure,
Is close enough to crave,
To chase amidst confusion
Through the fog
Of creeping evil mimicking a saint,
Of saints' lost virtue--
(Or repentant plea)--

And all that I can do,
Can ever do,
Is cry aloud,
"Draw near and rescue me."

Dreaming of Snowmen...and the Power to Change the Weather

Hello! it's August! which has probably never been my favorite month, but...i'm just glad this insufferable summer is moving right along, and we should be out of it soon enough.

that ring is a beautiful one that Daniel got for me, from the same lady who made my silver/emerald earrings! (www.barbara-macleod.com/v2) it's red--yay! red used to be my favorite color, but despite losing its place to green years ago, i'm still drawn to red shoes, red dresses, red hair, cute red vintage bikes, red/silver rings :)...

And here is today's poem!

"Until I say 'It's really hot!'
It won't be truly so.
The sun can't shine if, in my mind,
I concentrate on snow.
And mercury must drop and drop
To five or six below,
If I just close my eyes and will--
That's how it works, you know!"

Keep flattering yourself, poor fool--
The truth would drive you mad
With rue-ing what a short and fruitless
Span of life you've had.
For yes, the truth--I can't hold back--
Is, "Woe, the end is near!"
See, Snowman, you are not a god,
And summer's almost here.