Up and Down, Back and Forth

Hello--
Earlier today, i imagined myself saying this in response to "How was your day?":
"Well, I was passive-aggressive all morning, then went home and made ice cream."

cause i was, and i did. (the ice cream is still in-process. will have to give an update tomorrow. :) fingers crossed!)

if anyone could convince me that it's okay to be mean to lazy people, that'd be great.

although i'm afraid i live like i'm convinced of that anyway, and am just mean without thinking about it. really, what i need is for someone to convince me that's NOT okay. poo. :(

a song written this afternoon. it shouldn't be finished yet, but it's probably as finished as it will ever get. it's kind of confusing, probably because i'm a confused person...it's about the dilemma between wanting to feel like an 'adult' (in the sense of having a steady job/paycheck, looking successful, etc.)--and wanting to make a living out of a conglomerate of creativity (i.e., roasting coffee, writing, drawing, pottery, singing, acting, baking, etc.).
it's not good poetry, of course, but it's a snapshot of me mind...more or less:

I. I can't go back
No I can't go back
To a dream dead long ago
Take a different track
Drink my coffee black
Make an angel in the snow
Won't someone
...Anyone?...
Help me become
A different girl
With a different goal
And a whole new paradigm--
Someone confident,
Someone satisfied,
Who expects the stars to shine?

II. I have to try
Lord, I have to try
To re-light a flame long gone
I wish you would pry
So I couldn't lie
Have to admit I can't move on
Won't someone
Anyone
Help me put away
All those childish games
All my naive ways,
Start a fresh, concrete career...
(But if all I want's
Just one steady job
I'll be lost within the year)

III. There's a different path
From the typical
But I'm scared of what I'll find
If I follow it
Live against the pull
Of luxuries left behind
Won't someone
Anyone
Please help me become...